Like stated before, in the beginning they are a bit drowned out. Your vocals and your low end clash too much, but that's an easy fix if you were just to eq the vox a bit. Also, invest in some good headphones, it'll help you, and everything will sound awesome. You can get some good sennheiser headphones online (amazon,ebay) for 20$.
My gosh though, what the hell did you do with Clay? This is fucking incredible. This is so beyond anything you've made in the past. This is INCREDIBLE. Your progress is something that makes me happy to have known you when you started! Your skill and composure with this piece is phenomenal!
I'm having a 3rd listen-through now. This is seriously awesome. I can't believe how in love with this piece I am. Your build-ups are immaculate! The choices of synths are spectacular, and your use of counter-melodies is brilliant. This deserves so much more recognition that it has. Well done! Very well done!
Fav, 5'd! Moaaarrr plzz.